Artichoke’s Favourite Educational Quotes
And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five what remains?
Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.
Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful, I’d rather see that done on paper, he said.
When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
When I use a word, Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.
Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends.
Batman and Robin
Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce… Hmm. It’s the very lifeblood of our country’s society.
Batman and Robin
Robin: Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know.
Batman: I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives.
Batman and Robin
Bruce: Just because we’re traveling, I don’t think that Dick should neglect his studies, so we brought along one thousand key works of literature, his biological specimens, and also his own desk.
Batman and Robin
As long as learning is connected with earning, as long as certain jobs can only be reached through exams, so long must we take this examination system seriously. If another ladder to employment was contrived, much so-called education would disappear, and no one would be a penny the stupider.
E. M. Forster
We are willing enough to praise freedom when she is safely tucked away in the past and cannot be a nuisance. In the present, amidst dangers whose outcome we cannot foresee, we get nervous about her, and admit censorship.
E. M. Forster
How can I know what I think till I see what I say?
E. M. Forster
All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, we have to at least consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the Family Anatidae on our hands.
Fry: Hey, you have no right to criticize the 20th century. We gave the world the light bulb, the steam boat and the cotton gin.
Leela: Those things are all from the 19th century.
Fry: Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.
A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables.
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.
Dougal: As if magic, I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks.
Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats.
Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away…
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself and hurried on as if nothing had happened.
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Life of Brian
Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong! You don’t NEED to follow ME, You don’t NEED to follow ANYBODY! You’ve got to think for your selves! You’re ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We’re all individuals!
Life of Brian
ZeBadDee: Today, one soldier, tomorrow, the world… that day after that… THREE MORE SOLDIERS!
The Magic Roundabout
An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don’t have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there’s no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial “Robbie Rocket Pants”
Kryten, Red Dwarf
Rimmer: “Last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.”
Lister: “You what? You walked in there, wrote, “I am a fish,” four hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted.”
“My answer in answering the question: “What does the red spectrum tell us about quasars?” Write bigger. There are various words that need to be defined: what is a spectrum, what is a red one, why is it red, and why is it so frequently linked with quasars? What the hell is a quasar?”
Rimmer, Red Dwarf.
For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. That is the exploration that awaits you… not mapping stars and studying nebula… but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.
Why should I want to make anything up? Life’s bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it.
Marvin, the Paranoid Android. Douglas Adams
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?
You mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and made us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought… You think?
Sponge Bob Square Pants
Number 6: I will not make any deals with you. I’ve resigned. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or Numbered. My life is my own. I resign!
Number 6: I also have a problem. I’m not sure which side runs this Village.
You know, Arthur, when Evil is afoot and you don’t have any arms, you gotta use your head. And when Evil is ahead, and you’re behind, you’ve gotta do the legwork! But, when you can’t get a leg up, you gotta be hip! you gotta keep your chin up and kick some…
Isn’t sanity really just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you’re good and crazy … ooh hoo hoo hoo … the sky’s the limit!
The Mock Turtle went on. “We had the best of educations-in fact we went to school every day.“ “I’ve been to a day-school too”, said Alice. “You needn’t be so proud of that.” “With extras?” asked the Mock Turtle, a little anxiously. “Yes” said Alice. “ we learned French and music.” “And washing?” said the Mock Turtle. “Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly. “Ah, then, yours wasn’t really a good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.
Lewis Carol / Alice Through the Looking Glass
Yes, this is the Pokémon phenomenon that has swept the UK. One school in Berkshire has banned Pokémon after instances of bullying to obtain the rarer cards. The bullying has finally stopped however, now that Mr. Hunt the geography teacher has the complete set.
Angus Deayton in Have I got news for you
I’m 26, and I’m single, and a school teacher, and that’s the bottom of the pit.
Etta Place in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
I don’t have anything against education – as long as it doesn’t interfere with your thinking!
Ben Cartwright in Bonanza
Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.
Look at your feet. You are standing in the sky. When we think of the sky, we tend to look up, but the sky actually begins at the earth.
A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.
My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
Ursula Le Guin
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Our final experience, like our first, is conjectural. We move between two darknesses.
Railway termini … are our gates to the glorious and the unknown. Through them we pass out into adventure and sunshine, to them, alas! we return.
Howards End E.M. Forster
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less, Helen. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It’s one of the curses of London. I quite expect to end my life caring most for a place.
Howards End E.M. Forster
Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die.
Howards End E.M. Forster
Two Cheers for Democracy: one because it admits variety and two because it permits criticism. Two cheers are quite enough: there is no occasion to give three.
If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
Some people are born not to do things. I’m one of them; I never did anything at school or at the Bar. [...] I never expect anything to happen now, and so I am never disappointed. [...] I seem fated to pass through the world without colliding with it or moving it
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.
I’ve tried to avoid teaching, which for all its charm takes a lot of your energy and makes you doubt yourself.
Using encryption on the Internet is the equivalent of arranging an armoured car to deliver credit card information from someone living in a cardboard box to someone living on a park bench.
Most organizations are like Ukranian dolls - each inside has another inside.
Trying to extract useful information from the Internet is like trying to sip from a fire hose.
Architects cannot learn to design grand cathedrals if they are taught all their drawing courses using only an Etch-a-Sketch because the company struck a deal with the university...
Conducting research towards a PhD is like rowing a boat towards a harbour. You don't know what lies on the other side of the harbour. There could be dragons, or there could be nothing.
Artichoke's Favourite Artichoke Quotes
These things are just plain annoying. After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.
Erection is chiefly caused by parsnips, artichokes, turnips, asparagus, candied ginger, acorns bruised to a powder drunk in muscatel.
"one of the earth's monstrosities."
Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
Thomas Aloysius Dorgan
In the centre of a spacious table rose a pastry as large as a church, flanked on the north by a quarter of cold veal, on the south by an enormous ham, on the east by a monumental pile of butter, and on the west by an enormous dish of artichokes, with a hot sauce.
Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, (1755-1826)
Vous au moins, vous ne risquez pas d'être un légume, puisque même un artichaut a du coeur
Amelie [At least you'll never be a vegetable - even artichokes have hearts]
Kitty Walker: Oh, was the giant man made artichoke in the town square your first clue?
Brothers & Sisters" (2006)
Dr. Fexactely: [in the vegetable era] Oh it's about 4008. If my memory serves me right, an artichoke has just been made President of the United States of America, and two turnips have just landed on Venus.
Count Duckula" (1988)
Frasier: The woman is like an artichoke. You just peel away one astounding leaf after another.
Margo Channing: Remind me to tell you about the time I looked into the heart of an artichoke.
All About Eve (1950)
Terry Du Bois: Tis a far, far better thing I do now than I did that night with the sailor and the artichoke.
In the Bleak Midwinter (1995)
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: A woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.
The Pink Panther (2006)
The Fool: What a funny face! Are you a woman, really? Or an artichoke?
La Strada (1954)
Endora: Very well. Just consider yourself lucky that you are not at this moment, an artichoke. So from now on, watch your step, young man. Mother is watching you.
Darrin Stephens: Say, could she... I mean, really turn me into an artichoke?
Samantha: If she wanted to.
Darrin Stephens: That's creepy. What could you do? I mean, if she did?
Samantha: Nothing, except...
Darrin Stephens: Except what?
Samantha: I could become an artichoke too.
His memoir is a splendid artichoke of anecdotes, in which not merely the heart and leaves but the thistles as well are edible.
Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well.
Istanbul is like an artichoke: when you are finished, there is more there than when you started.
Jake [about his lunch]: An artichoke?
Charlie: Maybe you can trade it for something good.
Jake: With who? One of the slow kids?
Charlie: Give it a shot. Tell him it's a puppy
Two and a Half Men
Nikki: I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with parents.
Matthew: Have an artichoke. They're orphans.
Blame It on Rio - 1984
Ode to an Artichoke Pablo Neruda
of delicate heart
in its battle-dress, builds
its minimal cupola;
in its scallop of
bristle their thicknesses,
tendrils and belfries,
the bulb's agitations;
while under the subsoil
sleeps sound in its
Runner and filaments
bleach in the vineyards,
whereon rise the vines.
The sedulous cabbage
arranges its petticoats;
sweetens a world;
and the artichoke
dulcetly there in a gardenplot,
armed for a skirmish,
in its pomegranate
Till, on a day,
each by the other,
the artichoke moves
to its dream
of a market place
in the big willow
a battle formation.
in the market stalls,
in the soup-greens,
artichoke field marshals,
a crashing of crate staves.
with her hamper
of an artichoke:
she reflects, she examines,
she candles them up to the light like an egg,
she tumbles her prize
in a market bag
among shoes and a
of vinegar; is back
in her kitchen.
The artichoke drowns in a pot.
Refer Sophie Writes for a reference to artichoke poetry by Jong and writing by Julia Child